It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical
studies.

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the
British or Americans. 

 The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than
the
British or Americans.
 The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks
than

 the British or Americans. 

The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer
heart
attacks than the British or Americans. 

CONCLUSION: 

 Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills
you.