Dog Fight 

The Israelis and Arabs finally realized that, if they continued
fighting, they would someday end up destroying the world. 
So they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with 
a dogfight. 

The negotiators agreed that each country would take five years to 
develop the best fighting dog they could. The dog that won the fight 
would earn its country the right to rule the world. The losing side 
would have to lay own its arms. 

The Arabs found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers 
in the world. They bred them together and then crossed their 
offspring with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only 
the biggest, strongest puppy from each litter, killed all the other 
puppies and fed the lone dog all of the milk. They used steroids 
and trainers in their quest for the perfect killing machine, until, 
after the five years were up, they had a dog that needed iron prison 
bars on its cage. Only the trainers could handle this beast.

When the day of the big fight arrived, the Israelis showed up with a 
strange animal: It was a nine-foot-long Dachshund. Everyone felt 
sorry for the  Israelis. No one else thought this weird animal stood 
a chance against he growling beast in the Arab camp. 
The bookies predicted the Arabs would win in less than a minute. 

The cages were opened. The Dachshund waddled toward the 
centre of the ring. The Arab dog leapt from his cage and charged 
the giant wiener-dog. As he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, 
the Dachshund opened its jaws and swallowed the Arab beast in 
one bite. There was nothing left but a small bit of fur from the 
killer dog's tail. 

The Arabs approached the Israelis, shaking their heads in disbelief. 
"We do not understand. Our top scientists and breeders worked for 
five years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans and Rottweilers. 
They developed a killing machine." 

"Really?" the Israelis replied. "We had our top plastic surgeons 
working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund!"